Labor Lessons

Lessons can be learned in all sorts of places, in all kinds of circumstances. Sometimes lessons come discreetly through mundane situations, while others come in the middle of a trial or intense tribulation. It doesn't matter how the lesson comes, rather...what do we do with the lesson once it's learned?

 

On January 3rd, 2013, around 2:30pm, a contraction wracked my pregnant body with pain. This was nothing new, I'd been having contractions for weeks on end, and many days of constant contractions, even trips to the hospital and doctor's office thinking surely it was "the day". This contraction was much the same, and yet... deep down inside I knew that this time was the beginning of the real thing. Sometime during the 7pm hour, I made the decision that it was time to go to the hospital. The contractions had finally started to progress, and I was getting very uncomfortable. We checked in to the hospital at 9pm that evening, and thus began the last few hours of our journey to finally meet our daughter!

 

I will spare you the details of just how bad this labor was, but during the course of giving birth; I learned an invaluable lesson. The epidural I was given to numb my body of the pain didn't work properly, and as contraction after contraction seized my exhausted frame, I slowly lost the ability to control what was happening. I began what is known as "the labor shakes" and with each contraction my body would violently convulse in shaking so severe I was nearly moving the whole hospital bed. My dear husband by my side, holding me through the worst, it was all I could do to focus on breathing. With additional medication, my body decided to hand me another blow; I reacted to the medication and started throwing up. My body was reaching its limit, and yet; I still had a job to do! My daughter wasn't in our arms yet! Before the additional medication took effect and calmed my body down; I reached the lowest point I have ever been. I couldn't do it on my own anymore. I looked at Eric in sheer desperation. He knew what I was saying with my eyes. When we talked about it later, he shared with me how he saw in that moment the horror in my eyes that said "I can't do this". As I laid there unable to move thanks to the epidural that numbed my upper body instead of my lower body... I let go. I let the horror of that labor take over my body. I couldn't ease myself through each contraction anymore, I couldn't help by breathing or focusing. I just let go, and no longer tried to fight the shaking that left every muscle in my body weak with exhaustion. In those next few minutes I could no longer even pray but to cry in my heart "Oh God" with each breath. As I let go, I let myself fall into the Cheif Physician's arms... A peace washed over me like I have never experienced before. I felt the warmth of the Holy Spirit's presence wrap around me. The nurses had left the room for a little while, and it was just my hubby and me. I opened my eyes and for the first time in those last few hours I could be the one to reassure the man I loved so much. He felt the change too. I whispered to him that God was holding me. I could feel Christ right there. In that moment, I committed my body, my life, my daughter, my everything; into the hands of our Savior. No...the pain of labor didn't stop. The violent shaking didn't go away. In fact, I threw up worse after that amazing encounter with my Heavenly Father than I had before. But the peace that held my heart got me through those last few hours of labor. And at 2:44am, January 4th, 2013, the most beautiful little girl I have ever seen was placed upon my chest! Abigail Valerie was finally with us!

 

That was nearly 4 weeks ago as I sit and write this blog. And today as I struggled through getting a toddler down for his nap, and cleaning up the puke from my infant as she lost her full tummy of fresh milk; my back hurting so badly I can barely function, I felt the Lord's gentle reminder of that encounter in our hospital room. And the Holy Spirit gently nudged me and asked, "What would life look like, if at every difficult moment, I could just let go and rest in the Savior's arms?"

 

Can I really let go like I did while I was in labor? Can I trust my God enough with every moment of life and fall into the protection of His arms...and just stay there? What would the peace in my heart accomplish if I let Him so completely envelop me with His love?

 

Carry Me

by Josh Wilson

 

I try to catch my breath
It hasn't happened yet
I'm wide awake in the middle of the night scared to death
So I prayed God, would You make this stop
Father please hold on to me, You're all I've got

Carry me, carry me, carry me now
From my sinking sand to Your solid ground
The only way I'm ever gonna make it out
Is if You carry me, carry me, carry me now
God carry me, carry me, carry me now

Jesus calm my heart
Come near me please
Lord don't let these worries get the best of me
Oh I believe, that You're still here with me
Cause You meant what You said when You said You'd never leave

Carry me, carry me, carry me now
From my sinking sand to Your solid ground
The only way I'm ever gonna make it out
Is if You carry me, carry me, carry me now
God carry me, carry me, carry me now

Carry me
God carry me
Carry me
God carry me

I'm at the end of myself
I know I've got nothing left
Feels like I'm stuck in the valley of the shadow of death
And I've been down here so long
I just can't find my way out
Oh God I don't stand a chance
Unless You carry me now
God carry me now

Carry me, carry me, carry me now
From my sinking sand to Your solid ground
The only way I'm ever gonna make it out
Is if You carry me, carry me, carry me now
God carry me, carry me, carry me now

Carry me now
Carry me now
Carry me now
Carry me now